Our Hiccup begins..............

This last few days has been kind of a downer for me. First, our agency,
being small, had a person out for family issues and so she didn't take care
of our home study update like she was supposed to. Then, when she got to
it, it was dated incorrectly (because we'd already taken her other papers to
be apostilled) so we had to get it reapostilled. As of tonight it's still
sitting in the Secretary of State's office (has been there 2 days now with a
Fed Ex envelope attached). Who knows when and or where it is in the office
building (handed to the mail room) and if they've even touched it yet. The
agency was "HOPING" that Oregon would have it by Monday, but now there's no
chance of that. It's all that I'm missing for my documents to go to Russia.
I've not only done those currently necessary, but those that aren't due
yet................and my agency is dropping the ball!!!

Then, we finally got word from a doctor today about Isabelle's medical file
(actually both doctors finally got back to us today). The prognosis really
wasn't that great. She "COULD" have hydrochephalous.................and
possibly cerebral palsy according to what was written. I know that some
countries put the "worst case scenario" down to help the child get out
sooner, but this is ridiculous. It may not be what she has. Her head,
according to both doctors, looks fine..............she was premature
though............probably 2 months because of a problem her mother had (not
because of anything she had going on). So, we've requested updates on her
numbers, her current developmental abilities, and a video...............the
video is a long shot. They basically quit doing them in Russia a little
over 2 years ago. I'm all about the cleft palate stuff, but I don't think I
can handle the other stuff if it's real. If we get there and it's true, we
can choose to not accept her and they'll match us with another
child...............but I don't want to do that. However, I don't want to
not accept her and not fully know that she has it..............I don't know
what to do. I am torn. I've already seen her face and started falling in
love with her. Dh has already started planning for her. Dh has some
classes in occupational therapy, so developemental delays (not Cerebral
Palsy) are really right up his alley..................that doesn't bother
me. Cleft lip/palate/nose is totally correctable so that doesn't bother me
either...................and then there's the whole issue (for me) about how
can I not accept a child just because of a birth defect..........I mean, the
child still deserves a mom & dad..........that's just horrible to not accept
her because of it. If I birthed her, I wouldn't turn away.....................and possible defects are always a possibility with your own births (though we can do things to try and prevent them, we can't always prevent them).

So, please pray with me that I can be at peace and that God is able to give
us some information for the doctors that leads them to believe that she is
ok.

Thanks,

Terri for the Casebier's